Tidal Waves

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Tidal Waves

Last night, I dreamt of a blank, silver sky

That stretched far and wide

Such a calm scene

Of ultimate serenity…

I dreamt of escaping,

And being away…

I was so happy on that beach.

Just alone,

With only my doubts, insecurities and fears to keep me company-

I thought about my life

And all the places I have been

The things I have accomplished

Faces I have come to know…

And friendships I have had to let go

It was the cool weather and effervescent waves

That was calming the storm within me

That hurt

That pain

It was no more

As I longed to abandon my reality

I took slow, deep breaths

And closed my eyes

Rewinding the Hell that attacks my soul

And continues to trouble my life

As letdowns, disappointments,

And failed relationships,

Distant family members,

Otherwise-minded parents

And secretly jealous friends

Tell me how “MUCH” they love me

OVER AND OVER AGAIN…

I am searching so hard

To try and find my own happiness.

I wish I could cry,

But to be honest

I rather wish that I could lie

And say I’m fine

Like most folks.

But I guess I’m just not built that way.

So, as I stand before the tidal waves,

They have become so luminous to me…

They restore my purity

And wash away what is rotting my mind-

And cure a hateful, dying heart

To cleanse me of second-guessing

And have hope this one last time.

I thought it was over,

But as usual, I can never sleep-

So I just decided to WAKE UP

And not give up-

At last, full of wonder

But,

AT LAST-

With a small ounce of hope

This one last time

For Me

 

written and copyrighted by: Ranequa Kelley-Boyd

April 15, 2019

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